


Dan doesn't like Harry Styles (Phan)

by Misha_with_wings



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Boyfriends, Cheesy, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Depression, Eventual Phan, Fighting, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Harry Styles - Freeform, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Hidden Feelings, Jealous!Dan, Jealousy, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Pining, Rage, Sadness, Suicidal Thoughts, Yelling, insecure, m/m - Freeform, pharry?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 07:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12859686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misha_with_wings/pseuds/Misha_with_wings
Summary: At a big awards event Dan and Phil find themselves alone in a room with Harry Styles. Harry seems to enjoy flirting with Phil while Dan's blood boils, he wants Phil- Harry can't have him, but he keeps his mouth shut and watches the relationship happen.-----------------------------(Harry is literally just a character in this, it has nothing to do with One Direction- there's no references of 1D or anything. I just didn't want to come up with an original character and for some reason I thought Harry Styles. This is just a phanfic.)





	Dan doesn't like Harry Styles (Phan)

**Author's Note:**

> Harry is literally just a character in this, it has nothing to do with One Direction- there's no references of 1D or anything. I just didn't want to come up with an original character and for some reason I thought Harry Styles. This is just a phanfic.
> 
> Also I have no idea where this idea came from. It turned out to be pretty good though so I'm publishing it.

"I feel like we've been abandoned, Phil." If Dan could see into the future he would've regretted those words the second they came out of his mouth. 

He jinxed everything because seconds later none other than Harry Styles was walking through the door. 

Harry Styles and his perfect hair, and his flowery suit that only he could pull off, and his buff arms, and toned body... Dan wasn't salty about it at all. 

Dan didn't have a problem with Harry before the awards show, in fact he listened to his album and quite enjoyed it- but now he was sure of one thing, Harry Styles was the devil. Harry was here to do nothing but cause him misery, intrude on his life, and crush his dreams. 

.....

Harry had waltzed over to him like it was natural, Dan would emphasize waltz because Harry Styles didn't just walk- he was too perfect for that. Once again, he was totally not salty about Harry- not one bit. 

"Hello, how are you guys?!" Harry asks them cheerily. 

Dan and Phil share a confused look, surely someone of Harry's status couldn't remember them. He had done so many great things and seen so many people since their cramped little interview back in 2012.

"Um... hi?" Phil replies confusedly. 

"How do you remember us?" Dan blurts out. 

"You made me and the boys do animal impressions several years ago, that's the best thing I've ever done in an interview." Harry laughs, the sound was melodic and beautiful and Dan doesn't know why he suddenly started to dislike Harry so much. Probably because Harry was staring at Phil, but also probably not- it's not like Dan owned Phil it's not like he liked him... right?

"Usually when I panic I just ask people to make animal impressions..." Phil mumbles. 

"That's honestly adorable." Harry laughs again and flashes a perfect smile in Phil's direction. 

Dan felt everything inside of him constrict with anger. Harry can't call Phil adorable, he's not aloud!

"Anyway, Phil and-" Harry blanked on Dan's name. 

"It's Dan." Dan says through gritted teeth. 

"Right, Dan, I apologize." Harry tells Dan before turning back to Phil, "How have you been?" 

"Pretty great actually! Life's been looking up and me and Dan have been doing some great things!" Phil says and Dan felt smug because he was mentioned by Phil. 

Now see Harry, Phil likes me better. Dan inwardly thinks with a hint of pride. 

"That's amazing, I'm getting ready to tour next year so I'm excited for that, but I'm also gonna enjoy the break from travel for a bit, after tonight I've got a few months to be free." Harry says. 

"That's good, I'm sure your schedule is hectic." 

"Oh yeah... they work me like a dog. But I enjoy what I do!" Harry smiles.

Dan's eyebrows furrow in a mix of anger and confusion when he sees Phil getting closer to Harry and Phil just kept glancing down at his body- Dan was going to explode from jealousy. 

"I can't imagine being in your shoes. Me and Dan did a stage show kind of tour thing not too long ago and it was exhausting, but it was also a lot of fun!" 

"We're also doing another tour next year." Dan adds, but his comment goes unnoticed. "You know Interactive Introverts- Phil? Phil!-" Dan huffed, he wasn't getting any attention. 

"Dan did you say something?" Harry asks him, trying way too hard to be overly polite. 

"No." Dan gives Harry the sassiest look he could muster, "Not at all." 

Dan stood there angrily tapping his foot and huffing to himself as Harry and Phil continued to chat.

"So, are you two like-" Dan's attention was grabbed when he heard Harry about to say it. 

"What?" Phil asks confusedly. 

"You two, are you together?" Harry asks casually. 

Dan felt his stomach tie up in knots, but he stayed silent. 

Dan didn't expect Phil to laugh, he felt offended. Did Phil really not like him that much?

God knows, Dan likes Phil a lot- to the point that it is painful. 

"No no no- god no." Phil's laughter calms down, "Me and Dan aren't together we're just best friends, we would never work in a relationship." Phil puts emphasis on never and Dan's heart broke in two. 

Dan felt like he could run away crying right about now. 

"Me and Dan- that's hilarious. Right Dan?" Phil looks over at him and so does Harry. 

Dan gives Phil a fake broken smile, "Yeah..." he forces a laugh, "...right." His eyes burned with unshed tears, why did that hurt so bad? Phil had pretty much shot down the idea of them together with everything he had. 

"So what I'm hearing is you're single?" Harry asks Phil and Dan's jaw drops both literally and figuratively.

Harry fucking Styles didn't. He just did not. Dan couldn't believe-

Even Phil seemed a bit taken aback, "Y-yeah?" 

"Nice." Harry gives Phil a good once over and Dan feels white hot rage pool in the pit of his stomach. 

"Uhm- I-" Phil stammers, he was obviously confused.

"Would you want to go out sometime?" Harry winks, and only Harry Styles could actually pull off a flirty wink- Dan was angry. "Well if you even swing that way... sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable."

"I didn't know you... s-swung that way?"

"I don't release my sexual orientation to the world for reasons, my main reason being my management, but I am bisexual." Harry says, seeming to trust both Dan and Phil with that information. 

"Oh... well I don't really h-have a label? I guess- I don't know. I don't like labels in any sense, they just confine a person and hold them back." Phil says and even Dan didn't expect that answer. 

Phil wouldn't say yes to dating Harry though would he? Dan could only hope. 

"So would you want to go out with me? I assure you we won't get mobbed by fangirls, I have my ways to get around secretly if I want too." Harry chuckles, adding the last bit to lighten the slightly awkward mood. 

"I'm- uh... sure." Phil was in shock, Harry Styles actually wanted to date him?

Dan instantly spaced out from the conversation. He felt so many things, his heart shattering, his eyes brimming with tears, his body filling with jealousy and rage. He didn't know what to do. 

Dan could only hear parts of Harry and Phil's conversation as he thought to himself, he felt crushed. He could hear Harry flirting with Phil and Phil unconfidently flirting back- Phil was so adorable but Dan missed out. Harry got there first. 

"I must tell you that back in 2012 in that interview I was subtly checking out out, then I got screamed at by the jealous bomb that is Louis later on because of course he noticed." Harry rolled his eyes and laughed. 

"Wait were you with Louis?" 

"Yeah." Harry's face falls momentarily as he speaks again, "I was with him up until 2015, then things just went south and he didn't want anything to do with me anymore." 

"Oh, I'm sorry." Phil apologizes.

"It's alright, things happen and it just wasn't meant to be." Harry gives Phil a pained smile. 

"Well it's his loss, you seem like a wonderful person and anyone would be lucky to have you." Phil gives Harry a reassuring smile and Harry seems to perk up, he looked happy again, almost as if the sad suddenly left. 

Dan wishes his sad could suddenly leave but he had a feeling it was here to stay. 

"Thanks Phil, you seem lovely too. I look forward to getting to know you better." Harry says.

Dan wanted to scream.

Phil and Harry continued chatting and Dan continued standing there and feeling his world slowly explode inside of him. 

He will never have Phil, and that thought literally killed him. 

"Don't say that! I find you extremely attractive!" Dan's head snaps in their direction when he hears that leave Harry's mouth. 

Phil's face was bright red from blushing and Dan wanted to punch him for being stupid and unable to see that he belonged with him not Harry. 

I'm the one that knows you better than anyone, Dan thinks grumpily, I'm the one that cheers you up when you're sad. Me, Dan thinks, me me me. 

"Really?"

"Definitely, anyone with eyes should be able to see that you aren't only wonderful on the inside but you're damn good looking on the outside." Harry says making Phil blush darker- if it was possible. 

Not long later Harry and Phil exchanged phone numbers while Dan silently grumped to himself. 

"So I have to go, don't be afraid to text me and you can call anytime after eleven if you would want too, or I could just call you when I get a chance." 

"I don't wanna bother you if you're doing something important so I'll stick to texting, I rarely do anything so you could call me when you get the chance to." Phil says. 

No, Dan thinks, no he can't call you. Harry is bad, he's not right for you! Dan wants to scream. 

They talk for a few more minutes while Dan tries to convince himself that punching Harry Styles in the face is a bad idea. 

Dan feels relieved when he hears Harry say goodbye. 

"It was lovely seeing you again, and I hope I see you again soon." Harry says before going in for a hug. 

Harry was a hugger, Dan didn't like it. 

Rage shot through Dan and sparked in every single nerve in his body. 

Harry had wrapped his arms around Phil and given him a giant comfy looking bear hug and Dan wanted to drop kick him and scream at him to leave his Phil alone. But Phil wasn't his, and he never will be- especially not now. It's not like Dan could even consider competing with Harry freaking Styles. 

"Bye Dan." Harry says and Dan just glares at him. Harry seems to notice because his face switched to a confused expression before realization washed over his features.

Harry knew. He knew that Dan was in love with Phil just from that.

Fuck, Dan thinks, this is going to be hell. 

"So that just happened." Phil says after Harry leaves in a mix of shocked and happy, his voice was light and chirpy. 

"Mhmm." Dan hums in reply, he felt hurt on the inside. His heart had just died altogether. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I-" Dan got choked up, "I just don't feel good. Can we go home?" 

Phil looked concerned, "Yeah, lets go." Phil put his hand on the small of Dan's back to comfort him but it just made Dan want to cry that much more, he just wanted Phil to be his to cuddle and kiss- he wanted Harry Styles to fuck off. 

The journey home was hell, Phil just kept going on about how happy he was and how great Harry is. Dan wanted to scream at him, tell him to shut up because he didn't care. In reality he just cared too much. Also he didn't have the heart to ruin Phil's happiness, Phil deserved to be happy after all, even if Dan himself was miserable. 

"I'm going to bed- it's been a long day." Dan says, his voice was void of emotion.

"Oh okay... are you sure you're alright though?" Phil asks, gazing at Dan in concern. 

Dan couldn't meet Phil's eyes, Phil's beautiful piercing blue eyes... "Yeah, I'm alright." So he put on a fake smile and walked to his room. 

He didn't get any sleep, he was too busy crying into his pillow and trying to keep his sobs to a minimum so Phil wouldn't be alarmed. 

.....

A week later Dan was still wallowing in his own self pity, he could do nothing but feel jealousy, sadness, and a bit of rage. 

He could hear bits of his and Harry's phone conversations, and Phil was texting him like mad. 

Dan was surprised Harry even had enough time to tend to a 'relationship' since he's such a busy guy. Then again he did mention having a few month long break from everything. 

The only time Dan even talked to Phil was for videos, Phil didn't think anything was wrong. As far as he knew Dan was just a little sick. 

Dan rarely left his room, mostly because Phil would see how much of an actual mess he was. His eyes were red from crying and his hair was a disheveled mess and he wasn't going to leave his pajamas anytime soon. 

Dan snuck out of his room to go to the kitchen, mindlessly singing to himself so he could keep himself from crying. 

"We are who we are when no ones watching, and right from the start you know I got you, yeah you know I got you. I won't mind, even though I know you you'll never be mine-" Dan immediately stopped lightly singing the song that represented his feelings when he hear Phil's voice. 

"So you're a Zayn fan now?" Phil jokes.

"Huh?"

"You're singing his song, I was just trying to talk to you. You haven't talked to me much this past week- are you feeling any better?" Phil asks. 

"I don't know." 

"You don't know if you're feeling better?" Phil asks. 

"I- I don't know-" Dan's voice cracks and he feels that familiar rush of emotion stinging at him. He immediately rushes past Phil, hoping he could make it to his room before he broke down again. 

"Dan? Dan! Dan hey-" Phil got Dan's bedroom door slammed in his face. 

"Leave me alone Phil." 

"Dan what's wrong?" Phil was almost panicking, had Dan been having a crisis when he wasn't paying attention? Was Dan sad about something and Phil wasn't there to comfort him? Phil felt like a terrible best friend in that moment. 

"Leave me alone, please- just go away! Get out of my life!" Dan screams through the door. 

Phil backed up until his back hit the wall behind him. Dan had never yelled that at him before... did he mean it? Surely he didn't...

"D-dan?" Phil asks softly, his heart felt painfully heavy. 

"You heard me! Fuck off! Just get away from me!" Dan's screams we're overtaken by equally loud sobs. 

Phil shakily walked down the hallway, his mind was spinning with several thoughts and he felt like he could be sick. Why was Dan so angry at him? Did he do something?

.....

The next day was the day that Dan dreaded more than any other day. 

He heard Phil and Harry talking and today was their date- Dan wanted to scream and punch Phil for being oblivious but he and Phil weren't exactly on speaking terms for the time being. 

A soft knock interrupted Dan's thoughts.

"Dan?"

Dan sighed before getting up and walking over to his bedroom door, he unlocked it and pulled it open.

Just like that all of the air was knocked out of his lungs, Phil looked absolutely- breathtakingly amazing. Dan had to control himself from both breaking down and checking Phil out. 

"I'm about to go..." Phil says, he seemed sad. 

"O-okay..." Is all Dan could say. 

Phil began walking back down the hallway but Dan stopped him. 

"Phil."

Phil turned around, "Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" 

Phil looked sad, "I'll be okay."

"Not what I asked, are you okay- not will you be."

"No." Phil replies honestly. "But why would you care?" Phil didn't say it in a mean tone, he sounded like he knew Dan genuinely wouldn't care. 

"Phil I'm sorry." Dan says. 

"For what?"

"You know what..." Dan sighs. "I didn't mean what I said okay? I don't want you out of my life I was just in a mood. You know you mean the world to me, why would I want you to leave?" 

Phil seemed to feel better at Dan's words, he looked mildly happier. 

"What was wrong?" Phil asks. 

"It doesn't matter right now. You need to be happy, go on that date with Harry freakin Styles." Dan tries his best to put on a real smile. 

"Dan I know something's wrong with you. If you don't want me to go then I won't go, just tell me. I need to know. You mean more to me than Harry ever could, you're my best friend." Phil says and Dan was almost full of regained hope until Phil threw in the best friend line. 

"No, you should go Phil." Dan says reassuringly. 

"Are you su-"

"Go." Dan says, "Have fun." 

Phil walks up to Dan before pulling him into a hug, "Are you sure you're alright?" 

Dan melts into Phil's embrace, "Yeah, I'm fine." 

Phil sighs into Dan's shoulder before pulling away and walking back down the hallway. 

"I love you ya know?" Phil gives Dan that painfully adorable smile of his. 

"Yeah." Dan mutters back as his heart breaks for the millionth time that week, the second the front door closes signaling that Phil was gone he muttered a soft, "I love you too..." Then the tears returned. 

When Phil got home he seemed to be bouncing with happiness, in return that made Dan feel sadder just because he was with Harry. 

"How'd it go?" Dan asks, he really didn't want to know. 

"Wonderful! He's so down to earth and he's so genuinely nice-"

"Media trained pop stars..." Dan mumbles under his breath.

"What did you say?" Phil asks, he didn't hear him. 

"Nothing Phil, so what'd you do?" 

"Well we didn't get mobbed by directoners or phans so that's a plus. I don't imagine those fandoms would collide very well. But we went to that new fancy Italian place that I can't even pronounce- Harry could say it perfectly though... just listening to him talk is mesmerizing his voice is like warm caramel." 

"Wow." Dan tries to ignore the pangs of jealousy and the pain. 

"You don't care do you?" 

"No- no. Of course I care Phil, I just don't know what to reply." Dan didn't want to make Phil sad, he seemed so happy he was practically glowing and he was so goddamn beautiful, and his eyes sparkled like diamonds- god, Dan was so in love.

Phil flopped back on the couch next to him, "He's so warm too- and cuddly. He's like a little teddy bear." 

"He's not that little." Dan was just trying to find something to disagree on. 

"He's shorter than me." Phil shrugs, "He's funny and he likes my ridiculous puns! He also makes stupidly hilarious puns- it's great! Unlike you who just has to tell me how unfunny my jokes are." Phil pokes fun at Dan but Dan didn't take it that way. Dan took it in the sense that Phil liked Harry better. 

"I'm sorry... you are funny Phil I just like to pick on you- I don't mean to be mean, it's just banter." 

"I was joking Dan, I know and it's okay." Phil reassures him. 

"Sorry I'm just- I-" Dan cuts himself off with a sigh. 

"Do you need a hug?" Phil asks and holds his arms out toward Dan. 

Dan couldn't help but smile before leaning into Phil's arms and pretty much cuddling him. 

"So what's wrong? Are you gonna tell me yet?" Phil asks, still holding Dan who had completely relaxed into him on the couch. 

"No." Dan mumbles into Phil's chest. 

"Why not?"

"Because. I just don't wanna talk about it okay?" 

Phil sighs heavily, "Alright."

"So tell me more about your date, did you kiss him?" Dan asks. 

"Dan!" Phil shrieks almost as if Dan had asked if they fucked or something. 

"I'm just asking." Dan says, he just wanted to know if he had to kill Harry yet or not. 

"Yes." Phil sighs. 

Dan instantly shoots up, no longer leaning on Phil, "You kissed him!?"

"Well he kissed me-"

"Fucking hell." Dan mutters. 

"What? Is kissing suddenly a bad thing?" Phil asks, feeling mildly defensive. 

If it's someone other than me kissing you then it is, Dan thinks. 

"No I mean- just-"

"It's like you're actually mad at me for making out with Harry Styles, what's the problem?" 

Dan's head snapped in Phil's direction, "You made out with Harry?!" He almost yells, anger was definitely fueling him at the moment. 

"Uhm..."

"You did!" 

"Why do you care so much?" Phil asks. 

"I don't! I don't care at all!" Dan yells. 

"Then why is it a problem?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt... what if he's using you or something-"

"Dan this is Harry Styles, he doesn't have time to use people let alone someone like me." 

"You're lovely Phil, you deserve the world. I just don't want you to get let down if the whole Harry thing doesn't work out." 

"I'll be okay Dan. Plus I'll always have you right?" 

"Always." Dan replies. That's one thing he was sure of, he'd never ever leave Phil for anything. 

.....

Two weeks later they had actual Harry Styles in their apartment. Dan was angrily pacing around the kitchen while Phil and Harry cuddled on the sofa. 

Dan was about to lose it.

It had been three weeks. Three weeks and he couldn't take it anymore- he wanted Phil. Why couldn't he just tell Phil he loved him? He was terrified of rejection, terrified of Phil leaving him or hating him. He couldn't risk that. 

Dan cringed when he heard the wet smack of their lips meeting and pulling apart. 

Dan remembers when Phil told him about a week and a half ago, "Harry is my boyfriend!" And Dan felt himself just die. 

He sunk to the floor of the kitchen and buried his face in his knees and cried. He just wanted Phil to love him. This hurt so badly, all he wanted was Phil. If he couldn't have Phil then he literally wanted to just die. Phil was his life, his reason to breathe- and then this overly perky pop star comes along and ruins everything. All of his hopes and dreams were crushed into oblivion. All he could do was cry. 

He didn't even hear footsteps approaching him. 

"Hey, Dan, are you alright?" 

Dan sniffs and glances up at Harry who now stood in front of him. 

"Does it look like I'm alright?" Dan snaps, shooting daggers into Harry with his glare. 

Harry sighs, "You don't like me, I get it. I know what's going on here, I've been where you are-"

"Shut up- just shut up!" Dan rises back to his feet, glaring down at Harry. "You don't know how this feels! I feel like my life is over and it's all because you just had to take Phil away from me!" 

"He's your best friend Dan, I could never replace you. But if he loves me then he loves me, I can't help that." 

Dan's bottom lip quivers and his body was shaking with anger, "You know." 

"I know what?" 

"You know that I-" Dan takes a deep breath, "That I love him." He says quietly so Phil couldn't hear. 

Harry gives him a pitied look, "Yeah... I know. I can tell."

"Then why are you doing this to me?!" 

"Because I like Phil too, he's wonderful, and he's my boyfriend. I don't want to be that person but I got there first, and he just happens to like me too. He is still your best friend though Dan, I would never try to damage that. You mean a lot to him and I'm not trying to sabotage you two's relationship nor am I trying to hurt you. You just have to let go, let him be happy." 

Dan hated this, this fucking perfect asshole. No wonder Phil likes him, he's not mean and he is overly nice. But Dan was still pissed off. 

"You don't understand how much pain I'm actually in, he's my world... I love him more than anything even more than life itself-"

"Then you should have told him. You had your chance, hell you had eight years to-"

Dan had heard and had enough he drew back before taking out his frustration in the form of punching Harry in the face. 

Harry stumbled back and Dan looked scared for a second, mostly because Harry could probably take him down in an instant if he really wanted too. 

Harry just sighed before looking at Dan sadly, "Is that how it's gonna be?" He wipes the blood from the corner of his mouth where his lip had split open. 

Dan wasn't sorry, so he didn't apologize.

A single tear streamed down Dan's face as he stared at Harry, he looked defeated and destroyed. His chest rose and fell with his uneven breathing. 

"I know how it feels, and it hurts to make you feel like this. But sometimes you have to let go it's for the best." 

Dan knew Harry was talking about Louis leaving him for Eleanor again, it was the biggest news a few years back. Dan just didn't care, Phil was his and he was adamant about it. 

"I don't care if you know how it feels. I don't want to feel like this- if I keep feeling like this forever while you're off with the love of my life then I'd rather not feel anything at all." Dan says bitterly, so much emotion and meaning was packed into his currently quiet voice. 

Harry was instantly alarmed, "You don't mean-"

"I swear to god, I mean it." Is all Dan says before leaving the room, now tears were falling freely and his body ached and he felt like everything was over. Nothing could ever be right again. He just felt so empty, so lost and broken, like he could never be put back together. 

Phil didn't have any idea of what just went on in the kitchen. 

"What happened?" Phil asks in concern when he sees Harry's busted lip.

"I think Dan's just having a bad day. It's okay though, I don't hold a grudge." Harry says before sitting next to Phil. 

Phil's eyes widened, "Dan hit you?" 

"Yeah... but like I said, it's okay." Harry says before leaning into Phil's taller frame. 

Phil hugs him, "I'm sorry about him, he's been acting weird lately. He won't tell me what's wrong and I'm worried about him. He hasn't been distant like this in a long time." 

"I talked to him a bit, I think that maybe you should spend some time with him. Maybe he's just upset because you've been seeing me too much, he probably misses you, you're his best friend after all." Harry was trying to fix the situation, he didn't want Dan to do what he was implying and he didn't want anyone to get hurt. 

"Maybe, I'll try to get him to do something with me tomorrow. If I can even get him to leave his room." Phil sighs. 

"Do you like him?" Harry asks bravely, if there was any chance that Phil liked Dan back then he wasn't going to intrude on them and he was going to end this before it went to far. He didn't want to step in where he didn't belong, after all he does know what it feels like to be hopelessly in love with your best friend after the whole Louis fiasco. 

"What do you mean?" Phil asks. 

"Do you like him or love him, as more than a friend? Be honest, I definitely won't be angry." Harry says. 

He heard Phil gulp nervously. 

"No I don't like or love Dan in any way more than platonic." Phil replies. 

"You're sure?" Harry asks, watching Phil for any hesitation. 

"I'm one-hundred percent sure." Phil replies before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Harry's lips. 

"Good." Harry sighs in content before snuggling up to Phil.

.....

Dan's heart was pounding in a terrible way. The anxiety and sadness of everything was about to make him explode- he literally felt like a walking ticking time bomb. 

He heard Phil and Harry talking, now he had no hope- he knew for sure that Phil didn't love him now. 

Why would Phil love him anyway? Especially when he has someone like Harry Styles. 

Dan felt more broken and insecure than he had ever felt in his life and he just wanted to feel nothing. 

"I love you Phil, you fucking idiot." Dan mumbles to himself as he paces his room and cries. He was breaking down worse than he ever had, he didn't know what to do. He had no one to turn to, Phil was always his go-to but it's not like he could talk to him about this- especially not now. 

"I should be the one you're holding and kissing- this isn't fair!" Dan violently throws a pillow across the room. 

"I love you- I need you!" Dan was done, he couldn't take it. 

"I can't take it anymore... Phil-" Phil's name left his lips in the form of a broken sob. 

"I love you... I know you better than anyone, I'm the one who makes you feel better when you're sad, I make you laugh, I make you happy don't I?" Dan was trying to reassure himself. 

"Do I make Phil happy?" Dan asks then yet another crisis was piled onto the mix. "Maybe he hates me now... he doesn't want to talk to me anymore..."

Dan kept pacing and crying, he couldn't breathe, his chest was constricting painfully and he just hurt. Everything hurt. He felt like this was death, part of him wished it was just so everything could be over. 

He flops down onto his bed, here's to another sleepless night. 

.....

"Good morning." Phil chirps and Dan rolls his eyes. 

Dan was not a happy camper, he was mad, but mostly he was insanely jealous. He doesn't think he'll be able to obtain control when Harry enters the room. 

"What's wrong?" Phil asks. 

Dan glares at the hickey peeking out from the collar of his shirt.

"I'm tired, I didn't sleep at all last night." Part of it was because of his impending crisis and the other part was because of his insane jealousy and the moans coming from the next room over. 

"Oh..." Then the thought registered in Phil's mind, "I swear to god I thought you were asleep..."

"I haven't slept decently in three weeks."

Then Phil was concerned, "Do you need to talk ab-" he was cut off by Harry entering the room. 

"Good morning Dan." Harry says kindly, glancing at him before wrapping his arms around Phil and hugging him from behind. 

Dan burned with jealousy. He could feel yet another impending breakdown. 

It only got worse when Harry pressed a kiss to Phil's cheek and Phil smiled and leaned back into him. 

Dan immediately left the room. 

About an hour later Phil walked into Dan's room, not bothering to knock because he knew Dan was in a mood and he wouldn't open the door. 

"Hey." Phil flops himself down next to Dan on his bed. 

Dan continues to stare at his laptop, completely ignoring Phil's presence. It was hard to do considering he was drawn to Phil like a magnet, just his presence was electric and could make Dan's heart beat a mile a minute. 

"Dan." Phil says with a heavy sigh. 

"Is Harry gone?" Dan asks, still not looking in Phil's direction. 

"Yeah." Phil replies, only then does Dan give him any attention. 

"Good." Dan huffs, Phil ignores it. 

"I figured we could go do something today. Get out of the house, just us." Phil says. 

"No thanks." Dan replies. 

"Dan." Phil says in an annoyed tone of voice.

"Leave me alone Phil." 

"What are you gonna yell at me again?" Phil asks, seemingly angry. 

"Phil don't." 

"Don't what Dan? Don't try to communicate with you? Don't try to have a best friend? Why won't you just talk to me? Stop acting like you hate me all of a sudden, it hurts!" 

Dan scoffs, "That hurts? You know what hurts-" Dan stops himself.

"What?" Phil snaps. 

"Nothing, just go away." 

Phil stomps out of the room angrily while muttering, "You aren't even worth it anymore." 

Dan freezes up and he flinches when his door slams closed. 

You aren't even worth it anymore. 

Dan couldn't even process that sentence properly before tears were falling. He shoved his laptop off of the bed angrily. 

"You're right." Dan mutters brokenly.

.....

Later that night Phil walked back to Dan's room, he felt bad about earlier and he knew that Dan probably did too. He brought a peace offering of pizza, hoping that would help at lest a little. 

He knew they needed to talk but Dan just wouldn't budge. He kept being stubborn and shutting Phil out. 

"Dan?" Phil knocks lightly. 

He doesn't hear anything, not even sniffles or sobs. 

He opens the door and Dan wasn't in bed, he noticed him curled up asleep on the floor. 

"Dan..." Phil sat the plate down on the nightstand before walking over to Dan and kneeling next to him. 

He had tear tracks on his face and his cheeks were flushed from crying. 

Phil felt terrible, he shouldn't have said that earlier, he knew that's what set Dan off. 

"Hey." Phil nudges him gently to wake him up.

Eventually Dan wakes up and glances at him sleepily, Phil's heart melts. 

"I brought you something to eat, c'mon." Phil helps Dan up off of the floor.

"I thought you were mad at me."

"I could never be mad at you." Phil says softly before handing the plate of pizza to Dan. 

"I'm not hungry." 

"You haven't eaten all day and you barely ate yesterday, whether you're hungry or not you need to eat." Phil says.

"Why do you care?" 

"Because it's not healthy to just stop eating even if you're upset, if you aren't gonna look out for yourself then I'll just have to look out for you." 

Dan let a small smile adorn his lips, "You're too kind to me Phil." He says, half joking. 

"You aren't too kind to yourself, in return I have to be double kind to you." Phil emits a breathy laugh and Dan just smiles. 

"You're such a dork sometimes." 

"You love it. Anyway you better eat because I'm gonna sit here and annoy you until all of that food is gone." 

"Oh so you've moved on to threatening me have you?"

"It works!" Phil replies. 

Dan rolls his eyes fondly. 

"I'm really sorry about what I said though." Phil mumbles.

"It's okay I mean you were kind of right." 

Phil's head snaps up and he glares at Dan, "Don't you dare say that." 

"I-"

"No, you are worth it. If you don't believe that then you can fight me, and I'm serious I will mess you up Daniel." 

Dan laughs at Phil's attempt, "Okay alright, don't hit me I believe you- just because you said it." 

"Ask about hitting why did you literally punch my boyfriend in the face."

Just like that Dan was sad again. 

"Can we not talk about him..."

Phil noticed Dan get sad the second Harry was mentioned. 

"Yeah, okay." Phil decides it was better to not bring that up.

"Thank you." 

"Just I have one question, and you don't have to answer it if you don't want to, okay?"

"Okay..." Dan replies wearily. 

"Why don't you like Harry?" 

Dan had an opportunity to spill everything but he didn't. 

"I feel like you like him more than me and I feel like I'm being shoved aside. I guess I just feel like I mean nothing to you know but that could also just be my evil mind talking, it's pretty mean to me." Dan tries to laugh but it sounded forced. 

Phil gives Dan this look that makes him shrink back. 

"Don't you ever think that, no one could ever replace you. I'd do anything for you, and I hate to see you hurting especially when I don't know what's wrong and you won't tell me. You're the most important person in my life, we've accomplished a lot and gone through a lot together. Don't ever think I hate you because that will never ever be true." 

Dan just smiles, that made him feel a whole hell of a lot better. 

.....

More time trudged on, after that night they hadn't talked about anything again and it went right back to how it was before. 

Phil was going out with Harry a lot and Dan was left home to cry and wallow in his own pit of sadness. 

The media hasn't gotten ahold of Harry and Phil's relationship yet- which was surprising considering they had been together for a little over a month. 

Dan just wanted Phil, his longing grew more and more every day and he felt like he didn't even have a heart left because every time Phil left to go see Harry he took another piece of it with him. 

Harry and Dan hadn't talked much either, Harry would try to talk to Dan and Dan would just tell him to fuck off.

"I'm leaving!" Phil shouts down the hall.

"Again?" Dan asks back, he walked into the hallway to see Phil standing there, he looked gorgeous as always. 

"Yeah, going out with Harry." 

"Oh." 

"What's wrong?" Phil asks. 

"Nothing it's just-"

"Just what?"

"You promised you'd stay in, we were gonna film for the gaming channel tonight... we haven't been uploading as much since you've been dating him. The fans are definitely noticing something is up..." Dan replies softly. 

"We can do it tomorrow."

"Phil-"

"I have to go. I don't wanna be late."

"Phil!" Dan yells, loud enough to make Phil stop and listen. "Stay."

"I can't-"

"You told me a few weeks ago that if I wanted you to stay I should tell you, so I'm telling you. Stay- please." Dan pleads, he already felt like crying. 

"Dan I'll be back in a few hours okay-" Phil sighs. 

"I knew it." Dan's voice was beginning to shake and his eyes were getting watery. 

"What?"

"You're a fucking liar you know that?" Dan snaps angrily. 

Phil was taken aback, "What do you mean? Dan I didn't do or lie about anything-"

Dan emits a sarcastic laugh, "Bullshit Phil! You told me you'd stay if I wanted you too. You told me you'd always be here and you wouldn't leave me but you're drifting away all because of him! You're pushing me aside to be with him- something you promised that you wouldn't do. You said I meant the world to you once, what a fucking lie." 

"Dan I-"

"Shut the hell up Phil." Dan snaps, he was angry and he didn't care anymore, "You said you'd do anything for me but you won't even stay. You said you'd never replace me. You say I'm your best friend. You tell me you don't want me to hurt and that you'd be here if I need you. News flash Phil- I need you pretty damn badly. I'm falling apart and I just need you to stay but you won't stay you keep leaving me and you don't know how much it hurts!" 

Phil walks over to Dan, he was concerned and scared- Dan was a mess that he had to fix but he had been neglecting him. He didn't even hang out with him anymore and they lived in the same house for christs sake. 

"Phil don't leave."

"I have to, tomorrow I'm all yours okay-"

"No I need you now! You know what Phil? Fine, go. I don't want to burden you, just leave. Get out and get the fuck out of my life." Dan says, "And this time I mean it."

"Dan you don't-" Phil felt the defensive need to scream back but he also felt so terribly guilty. 

Dan looks Phil directly in the eyes, a blaze of anger had ignited him, "I hate you Phil." 

Phil didn't know what to say, Dan didn't have the right to scream at him and he didn't actually do anything wrong. 

"You know what Dan? Fine. If you hate me so much then how about I leave and just never come back? But you know something- I haven't done one thing wrong. I can't help it that I've actually found someone to be in a relationship with, and I'm so sorry that you have some major jealousy problem. I'm not yours Dan, I can date people now Jesus Christ would you stop moping around and feeling sorry for yourself?!"

"You don't even know Phil." Is all Dan can manage to say. 

Phil was now angry and confused, "I don't know what?"

"Why I've been upset since you've started dating Harry." 

"Oh so now you wanna talk freaking great let's just wast more of my time-"

"Shut up you dick. If you wanna know, then you can stay. But if you leave you'll never see me again, at least not alive anyway." Dan says, his words held a dark meaning that Phil didn't pick up on. 

"Just tell me quickly."

"You don't deserve to know if you don't at least stay." Dan says. 

"Fine Dan. I'll stay, I'll join your little self pity party. Now what is wrong with you?"

"Why are you being so mean?" Dan asks brokenly. 

Phil sighs before shaking it off, "Okay I'm sorry- I'm just irritated- I'm sorry. Dan what's wrong?" 

"I-" Dan takes a deep breath and a tear falls down his face.

Phil rolls his eyes, "Dan if you don't tell me I'm going to-" Phil is cut off by Dan's lips smashing against his. 

Dan was done playing games. 

Dan lets Phil go a few seconds later and his blue eyes were wide with confusion. He stared blankly at Dan.

Dan couldn't tell what Phil was thinking so he continued to talk, "I love you Phil- I'm in love with you. I have been for eight fucking years and I'm in literal pain from it. It hurts to see you with Harry because you should be with me- I don't give a fuck if I sound selfish I want you. I need you in my life, I don't want you to ever leave me. You mean the world to me and I love you more than anything and I fucking hate myself for it and now you probably hate me too. I just want one thing, I don't even care if you don't love me back- I just want you to stay. Please stay." 

Phil's heart felt heavy in his chest, "I have to go do one thing but I'll be right back." 

Dan gave up, "Phil you can't leave, I don't trust myself alone- I'm begging you. I don't want my mind to convince me to do something I'll regret and how things have been going that's not unlikely. I hate asking for help but please, don't leave me alone." 

"Dan, look at me." Phil says and Dan's teary eyes meet his, "I have to go do something, it will make us both happier. I'm not leaving you, I'm gonna come home to you. Just give me a half an hour. You can text me if you start to feel that way and I'll literally run home okay?"

Dan nods but he still felt like Phil was leaving him and he was just trying to soften the blow. 

"Thirty minutes and you better be home." Dan mumbles. 

He knew Phil didn't love him back, but at least Phil said he'd come back. Maybe that's something. 

"I promise." 

"I've heard that come from you before." 

"Okay, then just take my word for it, trust me." Phil says. 

"I do trust you, even if I end up screwed." 

Then Phil left and Dan sluggishly walked back to his room. 

He laid down on his bed and he felt terrible. He had told Phil he loved him and Phil just blew him off, he didn't even stay. That's all Dan wanted, Dan wanted him to stay. 

Phil had a half hour to be home. After that he better stay, Dan thought, that was gonna be his last chance. 

.....

Phil got to Harry a little late but Harry still greeted him with a smile. 

Harry noticed something was wrong with Phil when he went in for a hug and kiss and Phil flinched back. 

"What's wrong?" Harry asks in concern. 

"I have to talk to you." Phil says. 

"Alright, what about?"

"Listen, you're a great guy, and I like you a lot- and you probably already know where this is going but I think we should break up."

Harry sighs deeply and he looks sad but understanding. "May I ask why?"

"I've just realized that even though I like you a lot, I'm in love with someone else, and I have been for a while- I just haven't admitted it myself." 

"You love Dan." 

Phil sighs, "I do- how did you know?"

"Because I know love when I see it."

"I'm sorry Harry, I just really-"

"No Phil, you don't have to explain anything to me. You deserve to be happy."

"Will you be alright?" 

"Yeah, I'll manage. On the other hand you should probably go to Dan. I know he hasn't exactly been sunshine since you've been with me." Harry replies. 

"Thanks for understanding..."

"No problem Phil, I just have some advice for you- from personal experiences." 

"Okay, what?"

"When you get back to him do one thing." 

"What?" Phil asks curiously. 

"Stay." 

.....

Phil gets back to the apartment about twenty minutes later. 

"Dan? Dan I'm home." Phil yells down the hallway. 

Phil was immediately alarmed when he heard loud sobs coming from Dan's room. 

"Dan- I'm back." Phil says as he opens Dan's door. 

"Ph-Phil?" Dan sobs. 

Phil sits next to him, "Hey, I'm here. I'm here and I'm gonna stay." 

Dan leans into Phil, "You promise?"

"I promise I'm not going to leave you ever again." 

"Where did you go?" Dan sniffs.

"I went to break up with Harry Styles- never thought I'd say that." Phil says. 

Dan looks at Phil with wide eyes, "You broke up with him?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I realized that I didn't like him as much as I thought. Plus I'm in love with someone else." Phil says and Dan instantly perks up, Phil wraps his arm around Dan's waist, "I'm in love with someone way better for me, he's been with me for years and I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's the cutest guy in the whole wide world and you wanna know the best part?" Phil asks with an adorable little smirk. 

"What?" Dan asks with wide eyes. 

"He loves me too." Phil says before pressing a soft kiss to Dan's lips. 

Dan felt like he could cry from happiness. "I love you so much Phil..."

"I love you too Dan... I'm sorry I fought with you earlier, you're the most important person in my life and I hate knowing that you were hurting this past month because of me." 

"It's okay Phil, I won in the end." 

"Oh did you?"

"Yep. You're my win." Dan wrapped his arms around Phil and nuzzled into his neck. 

"I just wish you would've said something before, I wouldn't have rejected you." 

"Well I know that now!" Dan laughs, "I was just sad and insecure because I mean you were with Harry Styles, he's way prettier and more fit than me."

"He is not prettier than you, in my opinion you are the cutest person in the whole wide world and I love you to pieces." Phil kisses the top of Dan's head. 

"God Phil I've waited so long for this." 

"For what? A hug." Phil chuckles before squeezing Dan tighter in his arms. 

"No, for you- you dingus. You're mine." 

"Oh am I?" Phil jokes. 

"If you want to be." 

"If you want me to be your boyfriend you just gotta ask." 

Dan just nuzzles further into Phil. 

"Fine I'll ask. Dan, will you be my boyfriend you adorably idiotic love of mine." 

"Yes you spork." Dan laughs. 

"Are you happy now?" Phil asks. 

"Extremely, I just needed you. Now you're here, and you're staying." Dan sighs with content. 

"I'm never going anywhere." Phil says before kissing Dan again.

Dan smiles into the kiss before kissing Phil back deeper.

"I'm so life ruining-ly in love with you Phil you have no idea." 

"I think I do have an idea because I feel the same way babe." 

Dan pulls Phil down to lay on his bed before cuddling into his side. 

"Are we just gonna lay here all night?" Phil wraps his arms around Dan. 

"Yeah, please stay with me." 

"Of course I'll stay." 

That's all Dan ever wanted to hear.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was weird. 
> 
> Anyway kudos are appreciated, comment if you'd like. 
> 
> Thanks for reading this weird thing I wrote, I honestly don't know what I'm doing with my life. 
> 
> Sigh.


End file.
